Monday, December 27, 2010

Chunky Still

You know the episodes of the Biggest Loser when they visit past contestants, and some of them have gained the weight back? And people look at them like, “how could you do this, again?”
Those people already feel bad at themselves, then have others look at what they accomplished and what they at failed again in disgust. Makes for some good late night binging, curled up in the fetal position in the shower crying moments. Sure its good for TV and entertainment, but not for real life.
I haven’t exercised in 2 months! Haven’t ran, walked or sweated since the Halloween half. Why not? Dunno?
Because of the seasonal light and lack there of I told myself I would run on Saturdays when I had time. Just too keep the muscle memory going and legs in somewhat shape. So when it comes time to start running again it wouldn’t hurt and stink so bad like it has the last 2 years in the spring.
Well I haven’t went a single time. Too busy? Don’t care anymore? Too cold? No idea really. No motivation mostly. The Halloween half took its toll physically and spiritually too I guess.
Spiritually it was great, a good high from an accomplishment I never thought I’d reach. But physically it took a week to walk normally. Maybe I was just tired. It was a long summer. Ran a lot of miles. Then just got used to doing nothing again. My biggest mistake I think was rewarding myself with a “soda”. Instead of 1 I got a 12 pack, instead of just having that I stared off having 1-2 a day thing again, then having 2 liters in the house. Why not throw in ice cream everynight again right?. Why your at it, “hey remember how good fries and onion rings were?” Yep back in the mix.
So far 10lbs back on. I’ve packed back on half of what I lost. It took a year to lose 20lbs, 2 months to gain back half back. At this rate with more holiday cheer coming up I could be back to fat Bruce weight by February, easily.
The sad thing is I kinda don’t care. I don’t know why that is? This last summer I think because I always had something coming up, a race or event that it kept me going. Nothing is going on in the winter, and with new baby and projects I’m not seeing anything on the horizon.
Not sure how many will make it to 3rd annual memorial race ( lots of graduations around that time). Same with Dirty Dash 5k in June. Pony express days might be around that time also. It would be nice to be in good enuff shape to try at a personal best at the PE again, but not sure about it. The kids would love to do the Dirty Dash 5k. But man its gonna be expensive. I got a lot of kids!
Will the Pork Chop Express do the dirty dash in September again, dunno?
I’ve thought a lot about not blogging about getting big again cuz don’t want people to look down on me or something. Or if people didn’t see me when I lost the weight then see me now and say, “Liar, you’re still chunky.”
Then also thought I would blog so people could see how hard it is. Some might think, “Sure its easy for you to change your habits and go for a run.” No its NOT. It never was. Running did get a little easier towards the end when I was able to go 6-7 miles. 3 miles was easy. That was AWESOME!!! But now I’m sure I couldn’t make it 1.
So if anyone is thinking, this year I’m gonna start! I’ll try and do it with ya I guess. I’ll be starting over too,again. I think that’s what I’m not looking forward to the most. It will hurt, I will get frustrated, I will crave those sugar bubbles, those salty starches and that cold creamy goodness.
But hey, lets wait until the new year, cuz I know I’m gonna stuff it every chance I get and there will be plenty of chances! So instead of getting down about it, lets just take it and do what we can to lose it come February sometime!
I am getting a little sick of having to tell myself the same things over and over. I will probably always be one of those people too, dang it.
“Rise and rise again”.
Don't let what you can't do stop you from doing what you can do.
Right now I can’t run 3 miles. But maybe I can run at least 1
People say, “Don’t worry about what you eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Worry about what you eat between Christmas and Thanksgiving.” I like that!
I just don’t know what to do to get started again? What’s my motivation this year?
1st summer was “Hey,don’t be fat” 2nd summer was “I am going to beat you!”
Whats this year? “Have fun?” Running isn’t fun tho. Doing the actual races is, but the preparing is not. I don’t know, anyone have any ideas?

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